Pain
by Jameson Rook
Summary: The cases that involved children were always the hardest. Physically and emotionally, the toll was more horrific then anything else imaginable. By the time the T's were crossed and the I's were dotted on all of the paperwork, the entire team needed to unwind. Everyone had their own ways of coping. Ryan/Esposito


_**Disclaimer: Castle and all of its characters belong to Andrew W. Marlowe, Terri Edda Miller, and ABC Studio Productions. "Pain" belongs to 3 Days Grace. **_

**"Pain, without love.**

**Pain, I can't get enough.**

**Pain, I like it rough, **

**'Cause I'd rather feel pain then nothing at all." **

**-"Pain" 3 Days Grace**

The cases that involved children were always the hardest. Physically and emotionally, the toll was more horrific then anything else imaginable. By the time the T's were crossed and the I's were dotted on all of the paperwork, the entire team needed to unwind. They all usually went their seperate ways.

Castle and Beckett usually ended up watching Temptation Lane, and eating way too much ice cream before falling face first into the down comforter and sleeping until noon the next day.

For the Captain, she usually curled up on her leather couch, a glass of Chardonnay on the coffee table, and a copy of "Naked Heat" open in her hands. The words that she read through her horn-rimmed reading glasses would never leave the four walls of her home, because she could not _imagine_ what would happen if Richard Castle found out that she read his books.

When he became a Detective, Ryan would decompress by beating the hell out of the Body Ordinance Bag in the precinct gym. He would hit the silicone torso until his knuckles were red and raw, until he could feel the pain again. Until the numbness that shrouded his body as soon as he ducked under the crime tape.

Esposito had always preferred to hit his favorite drunk tank and down a few beers before going home and playing Call of Duty until the sun crested the horizon again. He would trash talk the gaming nerds he was playing against and try to completely drown out the fact that he had seen a child murdered in cold blood.

That changed, however, the night that Kevin had shown up on Javier's doorstep at midnight, his eyes full of something that Esposito couldn't quite name. Ryan stepped into the apartment without a spoken invitation.

He closed the door behind him, his blue eyes burning and making Javier shift uncomfortably. He had never seen his partner looking like that before. It was something completely different. It was a look of raw want. Of _need_. He was begging Javier with his eyes for something that he could never put into words.

He wasn't surprised, after shutting the door, when he felt insistant, rough hands on his face, pulling him closer and his back connected with the wall hard enough to knock the wind out of him. Ryan's lips weren't tender and soft, as he had imagined they would be. Hell, he'd imagined them more times then he cared to admit. Instead, they were violent as he bit into the kiss like a starving man.

The trek to Javier's bedroom was a blur of oversensitized skin, sharp bites, and digging nails as they fought to get out of their clothes. Ryan's fingers dug so roughly into Javier's hips, as if he were afraid that Javier would float away if he let him go. When they finally hit the bed, they collapsed onto it, their bared chests pressing against each other and the wild thump of their hearts pounded in tandem.

"What's-." Javier rasped, but he was cut off by the press of Kevin's lips to his and the scrape of their tongues.

There was no more room for talking, only for the slide of skin on skin and muffled groans filled the room as they lost themselves in each other. They drowned the horrific memories of the case in the sharp burn of teeth sinking into taught skin and the blood trail that followed finger nails cutting into the flesh of their backs. They forgot everything but the cries that echoed off of the bedroom walls as they both tumbled over the edge.

The next day would bring a million questions that couldn't be ignored, but they didn't care. They had helped each other in their time of need. So, as Kevin buttoned his jeans back up and searched the apartment for his shirt, he could only nod silently when Esposito asked if that had become a standing offer when things got too rough.

They were partners, which meant that they were there until the wheels fell off. And if that meant that, every now and then, they had a roll in the hay to decompress after a tough case then so be it.

And if that roll in the hay happened to produce a black bruise from Kevin's teeth marks on Javier's shoulder, or a swelling bruise on his back from being thrown against the wall on the way to the bedroom? That was just fine with hism.

Sometimes feeling pain was better then being completely numb.

_**Thoughts? Drop me a review and let me know.**_

_** Much love,**_

_** J. Rook**_


End file.
